The Worst Kind of Geek

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I'm the worst kind of geek. Not in the sense that I am an uber-geek, or that my geeky tendencies are so beyond the pale that it can be considered "the worst kind."

No. It's far simpler than that.

You see, I wasn't the kid who got straight A's all through school and blew your bell curve. I did that in the 8th grade to see if I was capable of doing said shenanigans (I did, and I was). Then, in the 9th grade, I decided to take it easy, give my mind a break, and I skated. Little did I know the ice was thin, and the water below very cold.

I was the kid who knew more than the teachers. Always. I can't remember a day in school where I actually came home thinking, "Wow, today was amazing! I learned something new!*" The problem was that I took to reading encyclopedias for fun as a kid. When I was 4 or 5. If I found something I was interested in beyond what the encyclopedia could tell me, I would ask my dad. If he couldn't give me sufficient answers (as was often the case), I would be taken to the library and encouraged to find out more. And find out more, I did. About nearly everything.

The problem with this was that I was always far ahead of the class, and almost always even more knowledgeable about things than most of my teachers. Some teachers were impressed and passed me because they knew I was far too smart for the classes I was in while others resented me (one teacher to the point of physical abuse that left scars on my arms). The rest didn't care enough about their jobs, let alone some know-it-all kid who would rather sit and draw during school than listen to a boring and often fact-deficient lecture about the pyramids.

All my friends were the geek brainiacs. They loved me. I was the only true geek who possessed the social skills to "cross over" and actually have girlfriends. I was also friends with many diverse groups of people, and would act as liaison, ambassador, and sometimes as protector to those of my friends who were lacking in things called "muscles." I was a swimmer, bicyclist, and even a runner (cross country in HS), and became friends with most of the "sporto's" and "jocks." I also was friends with just about everyone else, but my "peeps" were my geeks.

My geek friends also loved me because I would rarely do my own assignments and I always had time to help them with theirs. I was also a great project team member because I concentrated very hard on helping the team succeed. I never let my teammates down, so I was in high demand as a group member.

We used to hang out on Friday nights or on the weekend playing D&D (yeah, I played it before it became AD&D), Pong (later Atari 2600), or later writing our own games (mostly simulations of ICBM launch sequences) on my TI-99/4A.

Back to my problem; being the worst kind of geek. There was one area that I never studied very much and never put much effort into: math. I hated it. Why? Because it was unimaginative. It was pure fact without flavor. To me, there were better things to do with my time like read history, science, biology, psychology, sociology, current events, etc, but I had no time for math. This would haunt me for nearly 20 years.

While in high school, I watched friends get accepted into prestigious (or even regular) colleges and universities with SAT scores lower than mine. I could have gone nearly anywhere (on academic probation at most due to my low grades in HS) but I chose not to. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to college or university to waste my parents' money. I knew I would screw up and party too much and chase the girls too much, so I did the next best thing.

I joined the Marines.

In retrospect, it was the best thing that I had ever done; I learned discipline, motivation, and how to take pride in a job well-done. I also learned that I really should have gone to college and gotten a degree. I was working for people who were far less intelligent or qualified than I was, and it was often painful having to work for people who couldn't think their way out of a wet paper bag.

I rose in rank fairly quickly enough after a few rough starts in my military career, but once I became an NCO, I never looked back. I was promoted up to Staff Sergeant within 9 years (quite fast back then), and at 12 years (facing promotion to GySgt), I decided to leave the Corps so that my kids could grow up closer to their grandparents and cousins. It ended up being the best decision I have ever made, but perhaps that's for a later post.

Back (again) to geekiness. I remained interested in all the things I was always curious about, but being married with young kids has a way of sapping your energy and desire for things not so important as changing diapers, feeding babies, playing with babies, getting them to school, etc. So, I became a sort of dumb geek. I focused all my geek energies on computers and became quite adept at networking, computer building, and server operating. This served me well in my post-Marines career.

I found myself in a career that put me back in-touch with my people. Geeks. I was surrounded by them everywhere, and it was glorious! I started learning once again, and I began reading again. I found myself engaged in converstations that were intellectually stimulating, and I found and made new friends who were at least as smart as I was. Of course, the two best friends I made in the Marines both remained my best friends, and they were both of the geek persuasion as well (go figure), but they were the exception to the general population within the Corps.

It was this renaissance of geekdom in my personal life that led me to get a divorce and to then find the most amazing person in the world. She was at the very least as smart as I am (probably way smarter!), had similar interests, tastes, views, and... well, heck we were similar in every important way except one: chromosomes.

Having been married to her (a true geek; she even loves Star Trek!), and having made new friends (all geeks), I was reminded of how I was both uber-geek and makeshift geek. I could hold my own on just about anything except for the important geek skills like math (I only went up to college algebra in college) and programming (my skills extend to BASIC and some PERL, JAVA, and simple .NET stuff). I am proficient in database design and theory, but not so much in writing queries. I understand particle physics, but string theory is... well, stringy to me.

I play (and have played) MMO's since the dawn of the Internet gaming community, but these days, it's not so much a badge of geekness as it once used to be. Heck, I know luddites who have bought computers just to play WoW (a game I never have played, and I refuse to play based on principle alone; I will not go where the unwashed masses go). I read newspapers, magazines, and books solely on my Kindle 2 now. All music is on my computer, iPods, Zune, or it comes to me through satellite radio or digital cable. I have broadband internet at home. I own my own domains for my own email addresses. I am a guildleader.

I have geek cred as my wife would say, but deep down, I know that I let the species down. I could have been some kind of uber-succcessful scientist, writer, political scientist, historian, lawyer, doctor, etc, but no. I am a technical writer who goes from writing training on complex high-end servers to writing user guides for systems management software to writing maintenance manuals for armored tactical vehicles for the Army. It's a geeky job, but on the geek-cred scale, it ranks rather low.

I'm not entirely bothered by it, but when I talk to my friends from HS, I'm the one with ONLY an undergrad degree. The rest of them have Master's and Doctorates. Sadly, that doesn't make them smarter than me, but it gets them better jobs. Their knowledge is focused in areas in which I may or may not be interested, but in the grand scheme of things, when it comes to overall knowledge, wisdom, and outright "smartness," I can still think circles around most of them.

So, I am the worst kind of geek. I have a minor superiority complex, yet I'm socially very friendly and tactful. I can fit into social situations, yet have very thought-provoking discussions on a wide variety of subjects with people from many different backgrounds and disciplines. I love to learn, yet I have very little in the way of formal education.

I'm a geek without advanced degrees, I don't play Magic, The Gathering, I don't play WoW, and I don't understand some of the jokes programmers tell each other. I don't wet my underoos at the sight of a pretty girl, and I don't have any problem talking to them, either. I don't live in my parents' basement (and never did), and I don't have a room where I build robots and conduct mad experiments with soldering irons and circuit boards (although I do have microminiature electronics component repair training). I'm not a Linux fanboy or iTard (although I do have at least one Linux machine up and running at any given time, and have installed a flavor of Linux at least once on every computer in the house).

So, as you see, I'm a geek without some of the geek-cred that is normally associated with my kind. However:

I love Star Trek. I love Star Wars. I play MMO's, read a lot, have tried more than a few instructables, build computers, manage networks for fun, build and maintain servers for fun, love role-playing, love technology and gadgets, and know more about pop culture than almost anyone else I know. I know enough about programming to be dangerous (and well-hated by programmers whose programs I've messed up in the past), I know enough about databases to be dangerous (same note about programmers applies to database administrators), and I can write html/xml/sgml in notepad and make it work. I have been on the Interwebs since the early 90's, and I have my own set of gaming dice and source books. I build plastic models (though not very recently, I have about 20 in the closet ready to go) and fly R/C aircraft. I love big words and philosphy or political discussions with friends (foreign relations, even better).

So yeah, I'm a geek, but the worst kind.

I hope to write here regularly. My main blog is on hiaitus right now, but I feel motivated to write here. If you decide to read, I welcome you. If you come here to flame me or to otherwise insult me, know that your comments will be deleted. I don't have time for BS here. I have much better things to do... like to finish reading "Friday" again. For the 5th time.

*The last time that happened was in the first grade when we learned about the Yanomamo Indians. I never let myself get caught off-guard again.